By Francesca Escarraga
The painful reality that is constant in our lives besides change – people always leave.
What hurts the most is the fact that no matter how far you wander, they will always stay in your heart, constantly reminding you of the moment your life fell into ruins when they walked away. The grief, anger, bitterness, loneliness, confusion, and emptiness consumed every ounce of your being until there was nothing left of you.
We’ve all fought the same losing battle – getting over the one that got away.
How do you move on from someone you have invested your whole life to? How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered soul? You exhaust all means to keep your head above water, but you end up hitting rock bottom over and over again. They became the anchor that weighed you down heavily and despite your effort to stay afloat, you kept drowning in your own misery.
Just when you thought you’ve healed and made peace with the past, you find yourself in the middle of the street randomly on the verge of tears, simply because you saw something that reminded you of them – the corner café where you first met, the old parking lot where you sneaked into and had crazy nights, the song on the radio that you used to dance to, their go-to comfort food on a long and tiring day.
Flashbacks like these that pull you back in, as if life is deliberately taking you on a trip down memory lane every time you finally think you’re in a good place. In a blink of an eye, you’re back to square one – fighting the same war you’ll never conquer.
Next thing you know, a decade has passed and you still find yourself wallowing in nostalgia, regret, doubt, and sadness. Tirelessly wracking your brains wondering if you could’ve done something differently to make them stay. You start to overthink and let the thought of their departure significantly still have power over your present. Holding on to the memories has been both your weakness and saving grace.
Maybe, the problem is that we are awfully fixated on erasing our past instead of embracing the beautiful chaos it has brought in our lives, which helped shaped the person we are today – resilient, independent, fearless, and ever-loving.
That’s what love does – it transcends time. It goes beyond human comprehension. When you love someone more than anything in the world, it never really goes away, even if they do. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to still miss the way they used to hold you; it’s okay to reminisce the spontaneous road trips; it’s okay to look back on the milestones you achieved together; it’s okay to remember the plans you made for each other; it’s okay to still love them even if they are happy with somebody else.
After all, be grateful to have been given the chance to have known someone who makes saying goodbye so hard.
It’s better to have loved and lost than deny yourself the privilege of being touched by the ultimate feeling we stay alive for; unconditional love.